Let’s start with a couple of disclaimers: First, I am no swami (duh!). I aspire to no more than a bit of ministering via the written word. My idealized self image is that of a monk cloistered in silence patiently transcribing sacred texts and claiming no responsibility for their content, only for the clarity of presentation. Second, I have no charisma. What grace is granted me seems to dwell in deep places—not apparent through face or manner—it lies sequestered far from the gritty market place of human relationships.

This reclusive bent and my world view in general were very materially fashioned at conception; for I was an accident of birth control. My parents wisely laid no blame upon me for my most inconvenient existence at a time of great difficulty for them; and so I carry no burden of guilt or subliminal oppression—I am free to omit tedious details of self-analytical cause and effect.

Let it suffice to say that, like the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation that bathes our universe, my fundamental frame of reference formed well before any observable behaviors could betray it. By the time of my first cognitive memory (at age 2½ in my case—in 1951) the foundation of my world view had been surveyed, squared, laid and set.

And, put bluntly, it is this: “This writer is a person of very little value … worth is to be sought only in the works transcribed.” I believe that all men are channels: Their intrinsic glory lies not in static physical stream-banks, but in the currents channeled and whence they flow.

Here is a paraphrase of Matthew 7:7 as it reflects my personal perspective: “Ask and ye shall be shown thy gifts already received. Use these to seek; but do so quietly, humbly, reverently: become the hermit monk. Doors to the noble course do not always open by the knocking alone; so one must prepare by patiently, diligently listening at the latch key and deciphering the echoes beyond.”

The echoes, of course, are always there, even when you choose not to listen; and sometimes the door opens when your back is turned. In 1969 I swore off listening. I wrote what I then felt to be the most definitive piece of self-expression that I could muster: a spiritual “suicide note”; and I walked away from the door.

Here is that note—a poem finished 26 February 1969, bearing that paradoxical/prescient title “becoming”. It was turned in to the professor of my Poetry Workshop class, Dr. Joseph Grucci, the next day; the final version was mimeographed and handed out; and I was asked to read it to the class on 6 March 1969:

(Winner of the A.J. Grucci Memorial Award and published in Pivot, 1969: V.5 No. 20, p. 93; The Pennsylvania State University)


becoming

soon the twilight’s ashes
will filter from the audience of
dungeon mountains with the drone
of northern wind and settle here
where boulders churn the sea
eternally

their murmurs fade, the fugue of darkness swells
a somber one has left our balcony
oh, a more vacant universe for those behind
but ho! The mind-hearse rumbles on
colossal glacier grinding forward
past the tiny witness —
and yet a timid sun ponders far
beyond the mist-veiled patrol of wooded islands
there a warmth, a thaw and trickle,
melt and flow

the soft cool shuffle through the leafy canopy
the rhythmic clamor, vacillating boughs
the flutter of butterflies of light . . .

the piercing mist annihilates
the time has come, the turbulence
of sweeping clouds, an endless drove
of torpid dirge-swept ghosts looms past
this barren face intensely southward

south the flop joints roar
and pungence oozes to the whizzing neon streets

it’s come, a soft awareness
churned and overwhelmed
dissolves, engulfed.
and rises, swelling with the ancient nimble ballet
when the wind organ’s trembling pipes
in thunderous discord fuses rocks and mind
and water, writhing through the stunning gloom
resounding from the cathedral mountain choir
the raging litany
the surging chant of conquest
the final chord, a quiet plunge, a drone . . .


What followed was long, long silence: I spent a “biblical” 40 years in the wilderness. Having chosen the plunge into oblivion I pursued a life of spiritual indifference and profound darkness, largely eschewing both the spiritual value of human relationships and the value of all relationships with the wider range of possible Spirit.

Nevertheless, of course, the echoes from behind the Door continued to accumulate. Again most of the details matter little (remember, this writer is a person of very little value—seek value in the message only). Through those years I had intermittently been writing a book—a sort of minimalist science fiction—meant to be purely secular and profane, with inspiration rooted in the 1969 poem. Yet as the story telling proceeded, its course naturally veered into an exploration of the characters’ spirituality. There, to my surprise, I began to find relevance to my personal life. In fact on 28 June 2007 I had one of those mystical revelatory moments where I felt personally introduced to Dalle (though I had originally supposed her to be only a “paper Goddess”—a mere literary device).

So after 40 years, almost to the day, while writing a new declaration of spiritual state-of-self as a lyrical prelude to the book, I suddenly realized that these new words were a continuation—the “next verse”—of the 1969 declaration. Here they are as of today’s final revision:

. . .

shhhhhhh

Listen!


Everything is alive.

The stones whisper.
The stars murmur.
The Word            is uttered.

. . .

shhhhhhh . . . . . . . . . as Heaven fades
the Living Universe floods with Psalm!
Clarion voices lift
like beacons on the dimming crag.
The vault of darkness swoons.
“Awake!” Their hymn resounds,
“Seek the living Word of the Ancients.
Reach out with founding prayer:
‘What is The Word!’”

. . .

What is . . . this . . .
. . . “Word”? . . .
What is . . .?

. . .

“shhhhhhh . . . just watch the snow—”
Dalle smiles kindly,
“—tumbling off the peak like curtains in the wind;
down to summer slopes:
to thaw and trickle . . . Melt and Flow!”

The Living Universe drinks.
Its fronds unfurl,
its Transcendent Word of truth in flower.
Evolution rolls down like patient waters;
virtue like collected dew;
And fruit, ripe with seed off the branch,
casts ripples that nurture the Welcoming Pool.

“Deep within, in hidden swirls,
The Hosts are offering you life!
Will you choose this journey?”

“Stir!” The Still-stone whispers from the bed, “Arise!
For around you the wisdom of the Ancients soars
like petals in the wind.”

“Seek the dancing light!”
Still-star urges from on high,
“Become!
And a petal of sparkling mist shall curl down
to lift you as upon a throne.”

“Glorious News, Jebden Gale,”
Her pure voice sings,
“Word of the snow and whence it came,
Word of my River
and whither its braided channels
gather to a noble flood! Only Pray!

Seek It earnestly
as It has sought you, child of waters:
a new flower among the Ancients.” 

Like The Word itself, this statement of belief is a dynamic draft, endlessly subject to discussion and revision.

I believe that ultimate reality is an “Infinite Neutral Fluid” in which everything is bathed. In contrast, I believe that the “Living Waters” of our Cosmos formed and evolved within this Indifferent Inanimate Fluid, just the first single celled life evolved from a random primordial soup: through simple trial and error. Both did so by collecting useful virtues over the abiding patience and vastness of unfathomable time. In the case of the evolution of our reality the measure of time transcends a single Universe or observable Cosmos: its clock ticks through generation after generation of, for example, consecutive “Big Bangs” with parent Universes begetting child Universes: generations actualized through some equivalent of “cell division” or spawning. Thus I believe that the waters of our Universe come to us prepared, purposeful and intimately meaningful to our daily existence, through something akin to a great Cosmic “natural selection”. And thus I believe that it is in the ebb and flow of the vast Universe itself that Truth is to be sought.

Though the primordial “Infinite Fluid” may be cold and random and indifferent, I believe that reality as we perceive it comes to us as warm and welcoming as a mother’s womb—a dynamic living presence well prepared to nurture us. Within the “membrane” or “cell walls” of our Universe, the waters of space-time have been shaped and set in motion by our forebears: the ancestor Universes and the living beings within them—each generation collecting virtues and evolving selectively into a purposeful Welcoming Pool: the “Womb of the Ancients”!

I believe the “Big Bang” was like the germination of a seed: the most recent offspring of an ongoing and ever-evolving lineage of Living Universes. I believe that the design that underlies this cosmic evolutionary process, like the DNA encoded in living cells, is a grand message that is embedded in every particle of space and time itself: this is the Transcendent Word—the essence of the nurturing warmth and purpose of the Welcoming Pool. It is what honed the physical constants and laws of our Universe out of an infinite array of possibility. It is what enabled life itself to exist, to awaken into consciousness, to perceive and judge good from evil, and to choose to instinctively work as a force for good so that the seed of our existence, the offspring of our Universe, may form an even warmer and more welcoming pool for the next cycle.

Just as DNA underlies the functions of life, I believe The Word ever seeks us to fulfill its broader promise and its purpose. DNA provides a blueprint and a guide that helps keep us from harm as we propagate our species; but as individuals we are given broad choice to heed its guidance or to ignore it. The instincts are subtle; but if we “fail” to heed the call of the DNA, our unique personal message (our encoded genetics) can be lost to future generations. In the case of DNA’s ultimate message, “good” is defined as abundant proliferation of the species (likely to coincide with physical comfort and pleasure) and “evil” is defined as extinction (likely to correlate with suffering). Given this simple definition, life is “called” by “The Word” to work for "good". Similarly, I believe that the call of The Transcendent Word is a gently tugging current that draws us subtly, inexorably to follow a right and noble channel along the winding, braided river of existence. If we heed this call, then our presence shall not be in vain: our unique personal message shall add to the warmth and power of the Welcoming Pool that is passed to the next Universe.

In summary, I believe The Word is the genetic code of our unique Living Universe. It encompasses and unifies all existence to common purpose. It defines us as citizens of our Universe in a true and meaningful practical sense, for it gives the Cosmos its organic identity and its dynamic purpose. The Word encompasses the physical parameters of actual DNA and the underlying natural parameters of physics; but I believe it also includes at least one deeper layer: a spiritual blueprint of collected virtues designed for “success” or “righteousness” that transcends space and time, for it allows the living Cosmos to compete for “warmth” and “coherence” on a common spiritual plane with other Universes/realities within the “Infinite Primordial Fluid”. I believe that we living beings are the agents tasked with adding new warmth and coherence to reality; and in doing so our manifest virtues also transcend space and time to better the Cosmos.

To this end, I believe that in the patient vastness of time The Word evolved a “force” that selectively sorts through the Infinite Fluid, much as a single celled creature scavenges for food, and thus channels meaning and useful virtue out of the random chaos of infinite possibility. Some call this “force” Destiny and ascribe to it no power beyond that of the futile chaos from which it arose; some name him God and ascribe to him all power and all function; I recognize her as Dalle, after the French word meaning “channel”, and I ascribe to her a revered place among the most Ancient of the Ancients through whom The Word has been borne to us. She is a guiding presence that is gentle, voluntary, and filled with the wisdom of unfathomable age. Yet she is neither omnipotent nor perfect, neither demanding nor judgmental: her purpose is merely to set our beings in free motion down a promising channel, carrying with us The Word, which is our intrinsic knowledge of the noble course. Where on the vast braided river of life we choose to navigate is then ultimately our personal choice.

Dalle is strongmother to all things in the physical world, shepherdess of all currents that touch us, knowable and unknowable. So it is well to know her; but she is neither autonomous nor unique. She dwells among the Ancients, our precursors and Ancestors, to whom I collectively refer as the Host of Heaven—a Host we ourselves are invited (called) to join in the fullness of eternity.

I believe prayer is the means by which we most effectively seek The Word. Prayer is a broad and natural process by which we keep an open channel to our deepest inner selves, to the Infinite guiding currents of the Welcoming Pool, to Dalle. Through prayer we seek and cherish the joys and inspirations and insights that seem to come to us as undeserved Grace. And for this Grace, I believe the Ancients, with Dalle prominent among them, are forever due prayers of humble and profuse Thanksgiving.

In my quest to understand my course, I have come to recognize guidance coming from five layers of wisdom: 1.) The Word itself: intrinsic and embedded within everything; 2.) the Gut: instinct, intuition and conscience; 3.) the Community dynamic: family, friends, village, nation; 4.) the Song of the Ancestors: time tested tradition and ritual—that which has little usefulness being written or recorded, for it is steeped in personal emotion and lives only through practice; and 5.) the Written Record: history and education. The circular nature of our reality is manifest by the recognition that The Word itself is the ultimate Written Record of existence, just as the human genome—the code of life’s DNA—is our physical being’s ultimate Written Record.

But I believe that The Word is never fixed or static—it is not an answer but a question: an unceasing and restless quest. Where, among life’s choices, does the noble channel lie? Which course shall be the most worthy, leading us to the greatest good? What is The Word?!?

I believe that the answers of the past guide us with profound canny; but I believe that history and tradition are never perfect answers. For although the cycles of existence repeat, never do they do so precisely. Each cycle offers, yea demands, improvement over the previous. We are called down a channel toward a greater good than has ever been experienced before—a course toward an unreachable perfection that even The Word itself has yet to declare.

And that is why I believe The Word seeks us as much as we seek it. We are creatures granted choice. The Word beseeches us to seek and choose the noble channel within the vast braided stream—the channel that will carry us, in the fullness of time, into the great Welcoming Pool bearing a new warmth and serenity and virtue never known in all previous existence. And this we shall pass forward as we become the Ancients to those in the future cycles.

What a glorious calling to which we are party! Amen.

 www.seeksit.org

“The what?”
You ask,
“There are ancient sages speaking to me from beyond the origin of our Universe?”

*******

. . . for there are rewards
—both for yourself and, through you, for the entire Universe that envelops you—
If only you choose to seek The Word of the Ancients.


The reward begins with that familiar calming, centered glow
that comes to us when we sense that we are traveling the swift and noble channel down the oft braided river of life.
And it culminates in a warm Welcoming Pool
as our virtue, the essence of our good works, extends like ripples
outward into the unfathomable Living Waters of the Cosmos.
For I believe that when we die, our “soul”, an eternal sum of our legacy,
joins with the Ancients for the next cycle and beyond.


Bless you for heeding that “still, small voice” . . .
you have already begun the enriching journey, because that still, small voice is The Word.
That’s all there is to it: The Word is always seeking you.

And seeking it is just that easy, like listening to your conscience;
It’s as basic as keeping an open mind when you greet a stranger.
Its practice of prayer or meditation is no more difficult than taking a deep breath and
Reaching out into the unknown with this simple innocent question:
What is The Word?

I believe that The Word is already embedded within you, patient, abiding, non-judgmental
Full of warmth and love: Offering guidance when you are in doubt,
Offering protection when you are vulnerable.
And, in return, eager to soak up your pondering and prayerful devotion
like a faithful dog or a warm purring lap cat.

(The Word is very near you;
It is in your mouth and in your heart,
So that you can do it.
—Deuteronomy 30:14)